The juggling act has caught up to me again. I think I’m doing better with it than in the past, in that I accept it as part of the process at this point. Its still frustrating.

A lot of what holds me back is, in fact, me. There are times – especially musically – where I feel I’m the only person capable of executing all of what I want to accomplish, and given the expanse of my vision on some of these songs that’s a lot of pressure to put on myself. So when I can only accomplish so much in X amount of time, the sheer enormity of what’s left is daunting.

Had the last two nights to myself, had all my equipment set up and ready, and didn’t record a note. Played the Nord for about three minutes and wasn’t feeling anything. Still too worn out from my work week, I went to bed.

I’d like to think I have all the time in the world to get this done, and that losing two perfectly good evenings doesn’t have a cost to it, but I’m probably wrong. I just need to accept the timetable and do this when I can and not worry about the ghosts of implications or consequences.

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