Good mental day today. Still sorting through yesterday’s actual physical progress while plotting individual courses for each song and the project overall.

I don’t have doubts as much as I have introspective questions such as why I bother with this. I think the prevailing motivations are a) proving to myself that I’m capable of such a total musical endeavor, b) improving several skill sets that I don’t consider up to speed, mainly lyrics and singing lead, and c) the delusion that I may be one lucky spark from being able to do this for a living. This would be a sub-set of creating one’s own luck, in that if I’m going to have any chance at that luck I need to do everything I can to promote those slim odds.

I have practical motivations as well. I want to be able to go out and play solo or small group gigs with my own material and under my own inertia, and I need original and cover material for that purpose. Writing an album of material gives me merch options, and something unique and familiar to drill myself on when I get to the point of trying to assemble a performance band, be it an acoustic patio set or a full-on gig band.

I want to be the horse for once. I’ve been the cart for many, many years.

So we’ll see. I have a vision of it, blurry and fluid as it may be. I need to get material together, bring myself up to speed, and then hopefully I will have something to sell people on when I decide to share.

And then, when and if I get together a group of people I trust with the whole vision of things, I can let go a little and let it become something else, perhaps something more. But first things first.

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