Minutes ago, 5year-old Maggie brought me a 1/4-full Coke Zero bottle. A bottle that was probably 3/4-full when I put it in the fridge.

“Daddy?”

What.

“I’m going to make sure it isn’t poison.”

Really.

She takes the cap off and takes a swig.

Nice.

Then she gives it to me. Flat and kinda backwashy.
No thanks kid, all yours. You win.

Now she’s trying to pass off ‘Diary Of A Wimpy Kid’ as her own diary that she wrote herself.

“Look – my handwriting is really good!”

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